Mick Zano

Mick Zano

Mick Zano is the Head Comedy Writer and co-founder of The Daily Discord. He is the Captain of team Search Truth Quest and is currently part of the Witness Protection Program. He is being strongly advised to stop talking any further about this, right now, and would like to add that he is in no way affiliated with the Gambinonali crime family.

Now To Crush My Friend Pokey’s Hopes, Dreams and Aspirations

I actually enjoyed your last post, Pokey. After all, republican moments of lucidity are becoming increasingly rare, like trans fats. My concern is how you keep missing the main points of our time. You intend to vote R in 2016, yet you’ve failed to notice how the likes of Donald Trump has your party slated for extinction? Mastodonalds?  Oh, I see your point, Donald Trump: the “family values” candidate. The Republican Party is no more, my friend. It has expired and gone to meet its Super PAC. It’s voted out its mortal coil, run over the polling station and joined the bleedin’ choir intolerant!! …THIS  is an Ex-Party!!

Last of California’s Water Lost To Another Fucking Wildfire

Firefighters battle the Powerhouse wildfire at the Angeles National Forest, with the fire now having destroyed several homes near the Lake Hughes area in California June 1, 2013. The Powerhouse Fire remained at 15 percent containment after ravaging over 5,600 acres of the forest by Saturday evening.   REUTERS/Gene Blevins  (UNITED STATES - Tags: DISASTER ENVIRONMENT) ORG XMIT: GRB016

Clearlake, CA— Earlier today a massive wildfire consumed the last water in California. Governor Jerry Brown declared a state of emergency…from Seattle. Witnesses describe Clear Lake as disappearing amidst a fiery inferno of steamy evaporation. This picture was taken right before the fire tornado expanded and swept over the lake, sucking up sharks, wine bars, and countless creatures on Nancy Pelosi’s endangered species list.

Perpetually Wrong Gather To Mock Historic Iran Agreement

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New York, NY—On the eve of the historic Iran nuclear agreement, a deal very few thought possible, our republican fiends were quick to gather in their Fox bunker to commence with Operation Ridicule. Don’t our 2nd Amendment rights demand we use them on Iran, right now? Think about it, Obama used sanctions, a computer virus and words to keep Iran from obtaining a nuke. What a pussy. It’s almost as bad as when Assad turned over all of his WMDs for the price of a few phone calls. Verizon Weaponless?

Software Programmers Working Diligently On Likeable Personality for Hillary Clinton

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Washington, DC—Whenever Hillary Clinton is placed in a situation that involves other people, she continues to look like a deer caught in the headlights. Some of Clinton’s awkwardness, at least in part, may well be a result of the ‘testing phase’ of several sophisticated new personality software programs. Clinton’s IT team has obtained a Google-emotion technology patent, which will ultimately allow Hillary to change her personality based on circumstance on the ground, in real time, by utilizing both available data bases and user information.

Project Leader Matt Narrows explains, “Although this may not be evident from her recent interviews, public appearances are helping us move toward a fully adaptable and functional presidential personality by early 2016.”