An Open Letter to Roger Ailes and His Know-Nothing Army
by Mick Zano •
I read your response to Jon Stewart’s departure this week in Slate and it’s telling…it’s telling me move to Canada! It’s another Clue it was Roger Ailes in the Liebrary with the candle schtick. It shouldn’t be news to anyone that you’re the real the culprit here. Speaking of news, you should try some, instead of whatever the hell you’re doing over on Fox. You said Jon Stewart didn’t make a “dent” in your kingdom, but what about your ultimate goal? You desperately want another likeminded sociopath in the White House, or at least some other Rube-io to push your twisted agenda. This is where Stewart and Co. have robbed you of something. You already know this, don’t you?
This Week’s Dumb Text Of The Week Goes To…
by Mick Zano •
Trump Gets Five Point Bump After Pushing Baby Stroller Down Stairwell
by Mick Zano •
Washington, DC—Donald Trump is getting a bump in the polls today after he shoved a baby carriage down a stairwell. The incident left one woman angry and one toddler in cynical condition. Shortly after his presidential debate, Trump, allegedly told a woman she looked like something from a horror movie and then pushed her stroller over a precipice. According to witnesses, The Donald yelled, “Remember the Untouchables?! This is like a reenactment. Get it, you skank?!”
Trump remains unapologetic about the incident and is not backing down from his comments. “I meant what I said. I loved the movie The Untouchables and that woman was kind of a skank. It’s not sexists if it’s true.”
Discord’s Favorite Debate Moment
by Mick Zano •
The Cocky Horror Picture Show
by Mick Zano •
Grafting together a hodgepodge of red tissue and dead issues, the rightwing media has spent the better part of the 21st century galvanizing an angry zombie army of the politically clueless. This faction has a new leader, but the monster of their own creation has officially lurched off the table, broken down the castle door, and is apparently golfing in Scotland. People of Scotland: please monitor all little girls sitting near ponds or wells. At the moment, there’s only one person who controls the republican bubble and it’s alive…It’s ALIVE!!!!!
This Week’s Dumb Text Is A Behind The Scenes Look At Our WordPress Efforts
by Mick Zano •
Wait?! Savage Compared The Donald to The Churchill?
by Mick Zano •
Trump Tower—Have you heard of Michael Savage? He’s an AM Radio anti-personality host who just compared Donald Trump to today’s Winston Churchill. Having heard his shtick, I always thought The Savage Nation had an IQ point or two above the Limbaughs of the world. Looks like another retraction. If Trump were faced with some Nazi aggression I think this is the speech he would deliver to quell the fears down in Glitter Gulch. I call it We Shall Never Sahara!
Most Of Indian Ocean Now Comprised Of Lost Malaysian Flights
by Mick Zano •
New Reality Show Naked And Verklempt Cancelled After First Episode
by Mick Zano •
Hollywood, CA—The premise of the Naked and Verklempt series strands two naked Hasidic Jews on a deserted island each week to test their survival prowess. Sadly, a Discovery Channel spokesman announced today that both contestants from episode one had died within 48-hours. The producer of the show, Matt Narrows, said, “We’re really sorry about the deaths, but really happy they signed those waivers. We are not looking at this as a failure, because it was a damn entertaining 48-hours for all involved…uh, the deceased and their families excluded.”