Mick Zano

Mick Zano

Mick Zano is the Head Comedy Writer and co-founder of The Daily Discord. He is the Captain of team Search Truth Quest and is currently part of the Witness Protection Program. He is being strongly advised to stop talking any further about this, right now, and would like to add that he is in no way affiliated with the Gambinonali crime family.

The Top10 Questions Discord Staff Asked SIRI In 2015

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SIRI has become an important part of The Daily Discord and Team Search Truth Quest. She even helped lead an EVP session during a cemetery ghost investigation, here. The stats are in and we have the Top 10 questions asked by Discord contributors in 2015. SIRI does have an active restraining order against Discord member, Tony Ballz, so none of his questions will be featured in this year’s list. We even have SIRI’s responses to these important questions (SIRIously…at least when they were funny):

Iran Deal: For “Team Building Exercise” Kerry Suggests Dismantling Live Thermonuclear Device

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Tehran, IR—Secretary of State John Kerry suggested a team building activity designed to either build ties between Iranian and U.S. Diplomats or atomize them. The two teams split into mixed groups tasked with disarming a live nuclear warhead within the allotted time frame. Secretary Kerry told The Discord, “Most such meetings require an ice breaking exercise, but this situation required an advanced course, something that would break much more than just ice. Oh, and when I suggested we ‘split’ into two atom bomb dismantling groups, I emphasized ‘split’, get it? Get it? But no one got it. I blame the translators. My other jokes didn’t land either, but the rest of the exercise far exceeding expectations, or you would have read about it in the paper.”

How Many Republicans Does It Take To Change A Lightbulb? None, They Don’t Believe In Change

admin-ajaxI’m furious with the mainstream media, but probably not for the same reasons you are. How dare they let republicans rewrite history? How do you let these blatant falsehoods go unchallenged on your “news” shows? Even our debate moderators seem asleep at the switch. During the last undercard round, Carly Fiorina implied Obama “fired all the good generals, like David Petraeus.” Everyone who follows politics knows why General Petraeus left the military. Everyone. I’ll give you a hint, it rhymes with Lewinski.  

Crying Baby In Fourth Row Derails State Of The Union Address

Barack Obama

Washington—A child, who apparently wanted “walkies”, became a key distraction last night during President Obama’s 8th and final State of the Union Address. Initially the President tried to make light of the situation, but the growing disruption caused him to lose his train of thought several times and eventually his patience. The President initially tried to make several jokes, some which garnered laughs like, “That kid is more mouthy than my VP” to other more offensive comments, such as “This is why I’m pro-choice, people.”

Rep. Joe Wilson of South Carolina shouted, “You cry!” in what many are calling an encore performance for his “You lie!” moment during Obama’s 2009 SOTU address.

Mango Chipotle-gate? Bernie’s Beer Choice Brings Into Question His Entire Position Picking Prowess

12366402_10101928889481867_8157748097383572738_nScrew Benghazi, this is the real scandal of our age. I haven’t written much about the Bernie Sanders’ phenomenon on this blog, but his imbibing a brew from one of my main hangouts demands a response. Historic Brewing, Bernie?! You’re on my turf now. There are reasons I would love to endorse the Bernster, but I also have some serious reservations. His questionable behavior at a recent Arizona beer festival has only increased my concerns about his candidacy. Not the commandeering of the Downtown Dawg vendor truckthat was The Discord gangthe other questionable behavior at a recent Arizona beer festival.