Zano, you make your living by doing very necessary and commendable things that you hope and pray the Government will eventually pay you for. If you aren’t employed by someone making bombs or bombers (or, in your case, Costco-sized medicinal marijuana outlets), you have relied too heavily on the Lib/Dem faction of Americana for your daily ration of beer and snausages. You’ve based your likes or dislikes of politicians on how much of the taxpayer’s money will be given to your little project. That’s how we differ. I was brought up in a household that rated anyone by the total amount of deli food you could purchase from our little project. A deli, for those living in the southwest, or in space, is a place you can buy wholesome ready-to-eat real actual formerly living things type food, in a non-nationwide-chain format.  A place owned and operated by someone who actually knows how to cook.  Our income depended on the money that the citizens had to spend, after Uncle Sam had sucked his ration of vitamin “B” from our collective carotids. Uh, that’s the way I thought capitalism was supposed to woik. Granted, your way is healthier, but ours is way more fun…

We have both been brought up with a long line of lying shitheads in government telling us all what’s good for us. We were at a disadvantage when info only came from three channels of “Network News.”  People are a lot more informed now amidst the 24/7 news cycle and the internet. Contrary to your opinion, weez can all makes up r minds on such Govmint stuff.  You no longer have to be “ivy league edjumucated,” or, as in your case, five year Beer Pong league edjumnacated, to have an inteligunt opinyun on sumtin. We gapped tooth Nascar types have now realized that the liberals among us are in fact misguided on most subjects, including seeing no discernable need for humility. Take socialism,  please (insert ta dum-dum here).  Europe is now starting to see that, as Margaret “EuroBrain” Thatcher once said, in a voice not unlike the late great Graham Chapman doing his British lady impression: “The problem with socialism is that you eventually run out of other people’s money.” Greece has run out, and Portugal, Spain and even that European “Government of the Month Club” in Italy are next (except in Italy, you get bailed out if you cute and have nice boobs, er…and don’t hit the Prime Minister in the face with a statue).  Point being, it is a much failed experiment, and it’s time to put that little group of beakers and test tubes in a drawer somewhere and forget where ya put’um. The Euro Bank will, of course, make the same stupid mistake our glorious leaders made.  It will bail them all out. I guess that “Too Big to Fail” means countries too (or in Greece’s case, other guy’s asses).

Equality is the word I hate most. The only place I want “equality” is in the eyes of the law. We are inherently un-equal as a race, and to pretend we are is just so much cow pies. We should be reveling in our inequities, not trying to hide them as we morph into some kind of Dr. Moreau lab experiment gone wrong. I do not wish to be equal. Equal “equals” boredom. To paraphrase Captain Kirk, “I love my inequity. My inequity makes me who I am!”  Then, I believe, he kissed some green chick.

We all seemed to have survived the year 2005 well enough. Why is it so wrong to want to reduce our spending to that level, which is the year we took in the same money as we will this year? Inflation has amounted to nothing, thanks to the cheap money the Fed has made available with its near zero interest rates. Here in Arizona, we actually have LESS people than we had in oh-five. There was a massive “run for the border” when our economy tanked (which had nothing to do with a dead Chihuahua). I guess we must have added real important-type-thingies to account for the added expenditures; we just can name any of them. Oops, there’s that pesky Collective Alzheimer’s again.

With “Climategate”, it is now known that the world organization that is supposed to keep track of global temperatures has actually reduced the number of sensors from some 6500 to around 1500. All the ones that “went Elvis” were ones in much cooler environs. The lead scientist hisself was quoted over the weekend as saying that there was no discernable rise in temps in over the last 15 years. If we noodlers (someone with a heavy southern accent who fishes by jumping in the water and catching fishies with their bare hands) had not raised such a stink about the cost of Crap-N-Turd, we all would be paying someone big bucks for a failed theory. Oh, but wait grasshopper, that is what it was all about! These “scientists” (and fat ex Vice Presidents) make loads of money from us little unimportant tax payers for lying to us. Kinda like what you say Fox is doing with us. Oh, but wait, er, they were right, weren’t they?

What the Tea Party is all about is exactly what you SAY you want. You, like all the other Libs, have made up your mind what they are about from your buddies over at

MSNBC. They don’t much like or trust either party. Hell, they don’t much trust each other! Anyone of the current Politicos from any part of the animal kingdom that aligns themselves with the Tea Party is doing so to try to save their political asses (or Elephants, as it were) having actually read the writing on their Facebook wall.

Zano, listening to you is just like listening to Glen Beck very late at night. You both make it very hard for me to sleep.

Drill Baby Drill

Crank

Oh, where to begin… Great, you watched Fox Business Channel.  Small steps, Mick, small steps.  We don’t want a relapse.  But you were surprised that a business channel is focusing solely on how well the markets are doing. Uh, Mick, it’s a BUSINESS CHANNEL, just what exactly were you expecting? (sigh) I do not typically turn to the Green Planet Channel (GPC) for all the latest strip mining techniques.

Massachusetts WAS a referendum, not so much for Republicans, but against Obama and the current carnival freak show that is the Congress. The election was won on three specific ideas: the current health care bill is an abortion, endless spending of money we don’t have is wrong (unless, of course, Heir Beck is right about “agendas”), and we the peoples Don Juan no stinking Mirandizing of people we are at war with. So it’s simple, actually. If you believe, as Obamarama states, that it was anger toward Bush, you are more delusional than even I thought. You and Hannity are the only two humans left that still have Bush on the brain (And no, I aint goin there…).  I hope the two of you will be happy together. 

Please stop calling the Tea Party Obscene names. It makes you look like the typical Lib that has no arguments left, and has resorted to name calling. I know you ain’t one of those, so just stop—unless you have tea bagging on the brain (which, of course is what it is…if you follow). There are people that can take care of that for you as well, many of which are probably your test subjects-er-I-mean patients (Island of Dr. Zano joke omitted by Winslow).

As far as budget cutting, here is some news for you, and you’ll soon find out it’s true and then you’ll have to eat your lunch all by yourself (wasn’t THAT an Eagle’s song?). We are broke. Right now they are even laying off Police and Firemen in Phoenix.  Whereas this may be good for the crime spree barn burners that you call parties, I think the rest of us would rather fund them than not.  Unfortunately, this is where we are. Making the sales tax near 10% is like funding childcare through a tax on cigarettes (which they actually tried doing). The money gets less and less, not more and more, as people quit smoking, or in this case purchasing, and can have immediate effects on job creation. Increasing any taxes during a recession is an economics 101 no-no, but you were never too good with money, so you wouldn’t have known that. I feel bad for the mentally ill children, but not so much if my house burns down. Speaking of Eagles, in the words of the immortal Don Henley, “I’d like to find your inner child and kick its little ass.”  Well, it always worked for my mother. It made me the man (twitch-twitch-blink-blink) that I am today.

As for your Obama quarterback analogy, if a relief quarterback is brought into a game and upon his first toss, throws the friggin ball into the hands of the opposition, he is now responsible for any loss. Period. Obama took the ball and tossed it right into China’s hands. If he had just stood there and dropped the thing, it would have been better. Not fixing the economy is better than making it much worse. When you tell the small business owners that you don’t give a rats ass about the economy, that you want to increase costs of doing business with Crap & Trade and Healthcare, and that you don’t see a problem with taking money out of the system by deficit spending—all the while businesses can’t get the credit you’ve wasted—they have the unfortunate response of firing people.

I remember you telling me that the Campaign Finance Reform law was the worst thing since wet Wonderbread, and now that it has been repealed, it was the greatest? Very flippish and floppish, sir. Make-uppa-you-mind. It’s really about the Constitution. You know, the thing that Bush trashed, which you libs are now using as an excuse for more trashing that makes his big league trashing just so much junior varsity play.

Apparently, that ten minutes in the can, should have been much longer.  Despite all of this, my offer still stands to bail you out of jail, any time—unless you pull another Philadelphia.  That was just wrong.

The Crank

As for those Gitmo specials, some say we should bring them here and try them in civilian courts. Riiiiiighttt… Eric Holder’s announcement the 911 masterminds were coming to NY ranks up there as one of the most boneheaded moves of the decade (and that’s saying something). We could put them in a cell next to the crotch bomber, eh?  Others say, let ’em rot in Gitmo. But they will “rot” at a per-person cost to us greater than NASAs next ten attempts to blow up the friggin moon. Why should we pay for them to live in relative comfort, as compared to the damn sand holes they came from? Still others say, let a Military Tribunal take care of them. They had six years to do that and, so far, nada.  So I have better idea.  Two words…Hunting Reserves.

Now hear me out on this…because I think we are all missing the boat, as it were. Texas has a lot of land, and they have a lot of guns, and they happen to have a surplus of people on that land, who like to shoot those guns.  Let us also say that the state of Texas probably doesn’t harbor any deep-seeded affection for enemy combatants.  I say let the government buy up some ten-thousand acres of prime Texas hill country, release their asses, and tell them if they aren’t killed in 48 hours, they can go home.

My plan will give us all a thrill (even better than the one going up and down Chris Mathew’s leg) all the while it’s paying down the deficit!  Just think of it.  Can you hear the guns, Fernando?  I can.  We will simply let guys like the Motor City Madman hisself, Ted Nugent, pay BIG bucks to hunt them down with either rifles or, for the true adventurist, bow & arrow style.  You can pretend you’re Legolas from the frigging Middle Earth for all I care (although, dressing up enemy combatants like Orcs will run you extra).  Heck, you can have any theme you want: Dick Tracy villains, Batman villains, liberal villains…whatever floats your boat. Or, just give’em all day-glow orange turbans hot-glued to their noggins, and let the hunt begin.

Think about the money you could bring in if it was all nationally televised! This could bring together the best aspects of American Idol and Nascar all rolled up into one Uhmuhricun, larger than life, experience…and, er, larger than death.  Also, we would have very realistic Taliban tracking (VRTT) for our military recruits.  Hey wait, there could be wagering in Vegas on who would last the longest.  Isn’t Vegas still hurting about now?  (no matter how many times Zano seems to frequent the place.) 

We could call it the Towel Race 2000 or something. This plan would be a boon for the somewhat forsaken Texan desert cities. There could be phone lines from all America letting us choose the artifact of bodily injury that would be used on, said ‘contestant.’  Let’s not forget sponsorships? I can see it now, some fat assed southern hunter wearing his best “Remington” and “Winchester” logo gear. Let’s get the populace involved in the judicial process and help boost the economy at the same time.  It will help the heartland keep their minds off reality. It worked for the Romans for nearly ten centuries, and it can work now.

I realize there is one hang up—some of these folks were admittedly picked up wrongly….hmmmm.  Maybe just implement some form of slightly less violent “Wack-A-Turban” for dat bunch.  We could still make some cash, is all I’m saying.

And, if some libertard group starts a PETA group, the People for the Ethical Treatment of Al-Qaeda—lookie here, boys, we have more, said ‘contestants.’

Just a Thought

The Crank

Looking for a new CEO?  GM has been run by its bean counters for more than a decade now. See how well that’s worked out.  Putting Henderson out to pasture was a smart move. Don’t blow it now! Finance guys can’t run car companies; former telephone exec can’t run it; so who can?  He is already on your staff, you autotard. He knows more about CARS than anyone out there. Bob Lutz is sacred to us car people. He is master of all that uses liquid dinosaurs and makes “The Good Noise”. They say, if you prick him, he bleeds 20w50. They say, he sleeps in a bed that is a full sized replica of a Testarossa, sans top. They say, his children are named Hurst & Shelby. They say, the head of his member has a shift pattern tattooed on it…

GM Vice President Robert “Maximum Bob” Lutz has recently stated to the press something that really says it all about governmental intrusion into the auto business:

“We are in the Automobile business, not the societal improvement business.”

Ooooooowe.  There’s that “feeling going up and down my leg” that Chris Matthews must have been talking about.

If you don’t build CARS everyone wants to BUY, everyone loses. You are a fucking CAR company.  Please re-read that last two sentences as many times as it takes for you to sink into that F-ing brain of yours. When the “Old GM” wanted its free money from our resident fascist in power, it was obvious that our very own “Il Duce” wanted something in return. He wanted the door to hit Rick Waggoner and Bob Lutz in their collective asses on the “way out.”  Waggoner was a dipshit, so who cared, but Bob?

“Maximum Bob” is in his mid-seventies.  He has more money than God, and he loves making and selling cars. He knows more about the business than anyone all the idiots on the “Auto Advisory Board” combined. That’s why he had to go. The last thing they wanted was someone who actually knew more than they did…someone who would argue with them, someone who couldn’t be bought, someone who wouldn’t kowtow to their wishes, someone with ‘God forbid’ standards.

Secretary of Transportation, Ray LaHood, said in May that his livability initiative “is a way to coerce people out of their cars”. When asked if this was just more government intrusion into people’s lives, he responded “About everything we do around here is government intrusion in people’s lives.”

A government report says reliance on electric cars will do very little to reduce greenhouse gas emissions.  It will just shift our dependence from one set of problems to another. The GAO report says that a plug-in car, if recharged at an outlet drawing its power from coal, provides a carbon dioxide savings of only 4% to 5%. If the feeling of saving the environment from driving an electric car causes people to drive more that small amount of savings vanishes. Bob knew this all along. It was all useless bullshit spread around by certain fat ex-Vice Presidents and GE. Many CEO’s stood to make a fortune on Crap-N-Turd.

I cried tears of joy when I heard the news that Bob decided to “un-retire.”  It wasn’t all over, after all. There was still a chance I could hear the sweet, sweet tones of a well tuned Hemi V8 pass me like I was standing still. I could still smell the burning rubber at stoplights. I could still have the chance to rest my gaze upon fat tires, chrome wheels and bright paint—knowing full well there was, in fact, a large powerful engine under that hood.

When the “interim” GM CEO Fritz “I’z just a bean counter” Henderson was asked if the “late” Pontiac G8 rear drive V8 was going to be moved to another brand when Pontiac was put in its own little closet of doom, he said “No.” He wasn’t a fan of re-badging, and a large V8 powered rear drive passenger car was not in the future for GM. “Maximum Bob” was asked the same question in an interview right after his not-going-away announcement. He said that it was going to be a Chevy, probably called Caprice, because “it was just too good a car to waste.” Oh my, a real “Screw You, Barack” model, if I ever heard one. It is now acknowledged as being the basis of GM’s new cop car, slated to recoup some losses of fleet sales from Ford and the pre-historic Crown Vic, soon to be Caprice SS?? We’ll see…

For the people that dismiss being a “car guy” as infantile, and that a car is just a way to get from point A to point B, I remember a “Home Improvement” episode where Tim’s wife was dissing his Hot Rod. I remember him saying his car was a part of him, an extension of his personality, of who he is, and to dismiss it was to dismiss him.

I couldn’t agree more….

You are dismissed.

You have tried the rest, now try the best

MAXIMUM BOB LUTZ FOR CEO

NOW, BEFORE IT’S TOO LATE

The Crank

The U.S. Postal Service was established in 1775 – you have had 234 years to get it right; current worth – zero dollars.

Social Security was established in 1935 – you have had 74 years to get it right current worth – zero dollars.

Fannie Mae was established in 1938 – you have had 71 years to get it right; current worth – zero dollars.

War on Poverty started in 1964 – you have had 45 years to get it right, current worth – zero dollars

Medicare and Medicaid were established in 1965 – you’ve had 44 years to get it right; current worth – zero dollars

Freddie Mac was established in 1970 – you have had 39 years to get it right; current worth – zero dollars.

Liberals believing that the government can effectively and efficiently run a nationalized health care program – PRICELESS.

This is the time of year we should all sit around and relive the last year and realize we all have a lot to be thankful for.  Sure, I’m not dead.  My family is healthy and I still have a roof over my head. BUT, at my age, I have worked tirelessly (you try driving for my co. with no tires) for years to get myself in a place where I feel comfortable. I do not want charity, but I also do not need my own government working against me, either.

So here be my Crank You list (holiday edition):

Crank You: Mr. Bawney Fwank for insisting your boyfriend at Fanne Mae start the recession by offering homes to people that couldn’t get a mortgage on a fucking fridge carton.

Crank You: Little Timmy (Barney Fife) Geithner for being asleep at the wheel of the New York Fed while Wall Street Burned. Then telling everybody it was Bush’s fault.

Crank You: Hank Paulson for saving your ex-coworkers asses at the expense of the rest of the world, all the while making sure there would be no “Perp-Walks” for your bff’s.

Crank You: Chris Dodd for thinking of yourself above all else instead of listening to John McCain when he alerted the Senate in ‘05 about the upcoming debacle that would be Fanne Mae and Freddy Mac.

Crank You:  All the Independents that bought the Media Kool-Aid about Obama and now are kicking ME in the ass for it.

Crank You:  Nancy Pelosi and Harry Reid for not having one living brain cell between the two of you. Liberal Uber Alles!!

Crank You:  The States of Nevada, California, Massachusetts, Connecticut and Illinois for electing these idiots so they can rule the whole country. Now everyone that lives in the aforementioned states that voted for these bastards come over to me and turn around so I can hit you all in the back of you fucking heads.

Crank You: General Electric Inc. for prostituting your own media outlets, and therefore, bringing about the beginning of the end of all traditional media to further your bottom line by helping get Obama elected while standing to make billions being heavily invested in the Crap-And-Turd thing.

And above all, Crank You: Mr. President, for the being aloof, self important, dimwitted, egocentric, and otherwise evil asshole that you are.

And finally, a big Crank You to everyone out there in the government, working so hard to help me.  They said they were going to help me in my dealings with the credit card industry. They were going to enact strict rules about interest, timelines, etc. Hey, Mahvelous idea, guys. Really! They THEN told the credit card companies exactly what they were going to do, and when they were going to do it, (gee, I wonder why they did that…) so that the credit card companies could race to the post offices with notices of how they now felt they were very “pre-fucked”, and they were taking it out on moi, raising a 6% to a 19%, and making a perfectly affordablepayoff now totally out of the question. Uh, wut?  WOW, I’m starting to feel the love, Nancy dear.

Now, with the HMOs starting to feel the love with healthcare reform being forced into our asses like a cleanout suppository before the Gay Poker Night Extravaganza (GPNE), they made getting healthcare through my wife’s job exponentially more expensive, as it came time to renew the plan for next year. Oh well, I guess that knee replacement I been a waitin’ fer will be put off a-mite. I can always hobble. I’m gittin REAL good at hobblin’. Uh, thanx agin’, there, Harry.

So my plea to Nancy and Harry and Barack and the rest of this F’d-up government is STOP HELPING ME!  And if you insist on helping me any more, how ‘bout a reach around?

Did your fambly have the flu? Yes. (Funny, they don’t look fluish J).  Free FAMBLA!  Did you sit in front of the TV for a couple of days? Probably. Did you watch Fox? I seriously doubt it. Were you “lit” drinking cheap wine from a beer mug and inhaling massive quantities of second hand smoke? Most definitely.  Your mind couldn’t take that much ‘anti-matter’ news in one sitting without blood trickling down your ears and your eyes glazing over as they rolled back into that cynical skull of yours. Remember the movie Scanners? Remember the scene where that guy’s head ‘splodes? That would have been you on 24hrs of Fox. Bullshit. Like Jack Nicholson said, “You can’t handle the truth.”  You were probably switching back to the Contraindicated News Network when you were left alone, like a 12 year old kid switching back to “Girls Gone Wild” when mommy leaves the room.

You always seem to go back to your narrow minded little comfort zone. You could turn the fucking annihilation of mankind by Bastachuts from the planet Sfinktor into a “blame it on Bush” diatribe that would last till the last light went out in your fuzzy little gourd.

In the immortal woids of one Donald Henley, “Get Over It.”

You see, I rate current administrations by four questions: Do I feel safe? Do I have any money?  Is it worth anything?  And, how many pills am I forced by my doctor to take each morning to stay alive?

With the Bushmaster/Darth Cheney I was: Yes-Yes-Yes-and 4

I am now: No – hardly any – my corpulent derriere – and 7

Now this might be a little simplistic….OK, it’s a LOT simplistic, but then again, so am I.

Fox LIES. I wish just one of you “smarter than thou” lefterners would give me an example. And no, I don’t mean shit like death panels.  I mean facts that they stated that proved false—not opinions, for there are enough idiot opinions to go around on both sides. If you do some fact checking, you will see that they don’t.

There is some scary shit in the Healthcare bill from Pelosula. Talk about lies, Obama said that if you like your health plan, you can keep it. That is a lie. The bill states that your plan will have 5 years to match the “government approved coverage,” or it will cease to exist. So even one’s “custom plan” is no more. It’s in there. That’s LESS choice, not more.

Can you imagine telling people that if they don’t purchase GOVERNMENT APPROVED healthcare, you will either pay a fine in the form of a 2% TAX, or, better yet, GO TO JAIL. This is totally unconstitutional!  But it’s in there. I don’t know ‘bout you hoomans, but beige Gorillas don’t last long in jail.  While you were  ‘watching Fox’ during Girls Gone Wild commercials, I was trying desperately to read the fucking thing—something I know you and your elected Demonocrats haven’t bothered to do.

If their Czars were so innocent, why pray tell do they keep on throwing them under the Obamabus?  And now, their Pay Czar says he is worried about losing qualified people to run these companies?

GOVERNMENT BY OBAMA = READY, FIRE, AIM.

I ♥ Liquid Dinosaurs

THE CRANK

When I worried Obama was going to be the new Jiminy Carter, it never occurred to me that it could be worse. With the help from—as Mikko calls him, Sith Lord Rahm—Obama is quickly morphing into Richard Millhouse Nixon II.  Just when you thought it was safe to go back in the White House. Dad um, Dad um, Dadumdadumdadum. Our Prez and his Chief of Staff are control freaks that make Nixon look like Gandhi.  Obama seized control of the American auto industry in the guise of “a much needed bailout to help working families.” We should have, let them ‘go Elvis’.  That is very hard for me to admit, because I am a fan of both companies, not to mention Elvis. If Obama had let them die naturally, he couldn’t force them to “go green” and build cars that nobody F-ing wants.  Although, never leaving the driveway is probably good for the environment.  Detroit’s little dark secret, besides Ted Nugent, is that the government listed the top sellers during the Cash For Clunkers in such a way to make the small cars come out as best sellers. But, if you don’t divide trucks and SUVs into 4 classes (2wd trucks, 4wd trucks, 2wd SUVs and 4wd SUVs), the leading sellers were all …wait for it…..wait for it….TRUCKS!  Prius’s?  We dun need no steengkeen Prius’s. Robert “Maximum Bob” Lutz (Lord of all that makes noise, uses liquid dinosaurs, and is all manly) said it best: “We are NOT in the societal improvement business, we are in the automobile business.”  At least someone in Autoland still has some testicular fortitude. Obama appoints a person to oversee the FCC that has publicly come out in favor of Governmental control of the airwaves (Franken-1, Imus-0).  He then puts a person in control of “school safety” that wants to force elementary school teachers to teach about homosexuality and trans-genderism. (Mommy, what’s sodomy?).  His “regulatory Czar” feels that the Fairness Doctrine doesn’t go far enough controlling the media (Franken-2, Imus -0). His Climate Czar thinks that Cap & Trade is the bee’s fucking knees and will save us from ourselves. I am sick and tired of being saved. Do you believe? Ah, I believe! Do you believe? Ah, I believe! Do you want to be saved?  HELL NO.  Sure I may have been, as Jerry Garcia tells us, going to hell in a hand basket, but at least, until the Obama Administration, I was enjoying the frigging ride.  His Environment Czar was held in Contempt in 2003 for destroying documents a Judge had ordered forwarded to Landmark Legal Foundation when she was head of the EPA for Clinton. Afterward, her shredder looked more like a Dali clock. Now, Obama seems to think that as far as his detractors go, if ya can’t convert ‘em, destroy ‘em. The National Chamber Of Commerce is now on his ever-growing Messiah shit list (MSL). They don’t like his Healthcare bill, or the Crap & Turd thing either.  He is now doing an end run around the Chamber by contacting the listed companies directly so as to marginalize it.  If ya can’t beat-em, ignore-em. Fox News is his next listee. Trying to force the other networks to not cover certain stories, and pressuring Fox News coverage, is the Obama Administration’s most “Nixonian” thing yet. His two main henchmen appeared on all the Sunday morning news shows to tell the world that Fox wasn’t a “real news channel” (like MSN ‘BS’ is a real news channel?). Nixon revisited. Doing just this type of thing came back and bit a crater in ol’ Millhouses ass. Rahm is now known to be emailing MSNBC commentators during stories to critique them. There is also a report today that Obama has held clandestine meetings with MSNBC commentators. Enters NBC: the New Barrack Channel. He now has “Move-on.org” people emailing all the Democratic Senators and Congressmen to tell them not to appear under any circumstances on Fox. Yeah, like that’s gonna work.   It’s like telling your child, “Now honey, see that plate of chocolate chip cookies on the table?  Don’t go near it.”  Well, he could always get his “school safety Czar” to start up his next project, Bendover.org. I think I know the reason for all this hoopla. I think that Obama’s presence in the White House has awakened the ghost of Nixon Past.

Picture this guy visiting Obama with some chains and some moaning.

I ♥ Liquid Dinosaurs

I just love med changes. It’s like “let’s see what parts of my body and/or mind THESE little fuckers will decide to play with next.” It’s always a hoot. Well, as I sat home recovering from my latest foray into the netherworld of psychotropic medication (NPM), I decided to watch CSPAN for a while, never having done so. I have heard that there are two things you never want to watch being made, laws and sausage. In my past life, in the retail food industry, I saw sausages and frankfurters being made many times. Now, having seen how laws are made, I prefer the sausage thing. While it is definitely NOT for the easy queasy, it is quite interesting. Various parts of “formerly living things” (the parts you won’t see brightly packaged at you local Safeway Meat Dept.) processed into beige goo, inserted into intestines of other “formerly living things”, like libertards, and cooked, salted, and food-colored into something that looks good on a bun. Now there’s something to watch between games on Sunday. Seeing laws made, on the other hand, not so much.

I have seen two basic series of events. For the first part, one party had the “goods” on another party’s guy, and wanted to discuss the guy’s problems on the “floor” of the House. The other party, having the majority, wanted to avert any discussions of the guy’s problems, and did so quickly by passing off the “problem” to the House Ethics Committee (A.K.A. the black hole of democracy). The whole thing took less than fifteen minutes…efficiency at its finest.

The second part involved the issue of awarding U.S. citizenship to a Polish person posthumously.  He was apparently heroic some eons ago during the Polish Mexican War or some such. For the rest of the afternoon, most of the members presented their very own hour long speech as to why this is truly the most Earth shaking legislation EVER. It was like a bad trip during Woodstock. I swear I heard the faint sounds of “don’t take the brown acid. It’s not good for you. Take the white acid only.” repeated over a loudspeaker in the background of my mind. I also heard “The white zone is for loading only; mind the gap”, and track two from my Iron Butterfly 8-track.  But, it could just be the new meds talking.

After enduring this for some time I reflected on the sheer amount of problematic individuals in both the Congress and the executive branches of our present government. But it did solve for me the mystery behind the disappearance of McCain’s campaign managers. They are now vetting for Obama and the congressional Dems.

You got the guy who is at the head of the House Ways and Means committee, you know, Mr. Way off on his own income taxes (two million dollars).  “Oops, sorry, ah he he he, forgot to carry the 1.” If you don’t like him, it’s because you are racist. 

You got the head of the House Banking Committee who got caught running a male brothel out of his Massachusetts townhouse. You know, the guy whose boyfriend was running the Fanny Mae back when they were asked to make subprime loans to poor people to get them into homeownership, even if it was temporary. The guy that almost single-handedly caused the recession. The guy with no teeth, ‘cause his boyfriend likes it that way. “I’m thucking wabbit dicks, huhuhuhuhu”.

You got the lady that got to be House Speaker. Wow, Pickins must have been Slim (sorry for that one). Doctor Sardonicus’ old lady.  Michael Jackson in a pants suit.  You know, the bitch from Libertard Prime.  Then you got the Senate Majority leader, whose own constituents hate him. It seems that what happens in Vegas goes to Washington and then fucks everything not in Vegas.

Then you got Czars. The FCC Diversity Czar, Mark Lloyd, is the guy who says the Fairness Doctrine doesn’t go far enough. He’s actually advocated forcing people to step down from their media posts so they can be replaced with minorities. An avowed Marxist, he wants to “overthrow the capitalist system” itself. Geeh, I bet he’d be a real hit at Constitutional Convention re-enactments.

You have the Regulatory Czar, who I believe oversees all fiber products, saying: “The absence of a European-style social welfare state is certainly connected with the widespread perception among the white majority that the relevant programs would disproportionately benefit African Americans (and more recently Hispanics).”  Who ever said fair ever had to be fair?  The Obama czar’s controversial comments were made in his 2004 book “The Second Bill of Rights”. In the book, he openly argues for bringing socialism to the U.S. and even lends support to communism (although, enough fiber can really help bring on a much-needed case of the Trotskys).

You got the Safe Schools Czar who is an admitted admirer of Henry Hay, the founder of NAMBLA, the National Man-Boy Love ASSociation. This guy actually wrote a forward in the book, while bending over: “The queering of elementary schools.”  This guy openly admits wanting to teach the benefits of homosexuality to elementary school students. No lie, folks.  Look it up, if you can still read. (Mommy, how do you spell sodomy?)

You have the Energy and Environment Czar who worked on the Socialist International’s Commission for a Sustainable World Society, which argues that the global community must work collectively to address environmental policies. They orchestrated private discussions between the White House and auto industry officials on vehicle fuel efficiency standards, while keeping their talks as quiet as possible.

Mary Nichols, the head of the California Air Resources Board, said, “We put nothing in writing, ever.”

There’s that transparency thing again.  And Obama hisself, the first Used Car Salesman ever elected to the White House.

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The Crank